Friday, October 24, 2008

Remembering Natalie's Birth

No baby signs that this baby is ever going to come out!! It seems like it was only yesterday that I was going into labor with Natalie but it was 16 months ago already. It was a Friday and one of the best days of my life. I need to remind myself of that because I've been getting nervous. I'm actually more nervous now than I was when Natalie was about to arrive...I didn't know that pain like that existed!! But it was still one of the best days of my life.

I started having contractions at 11:00 on a Friday, the day after my due date. My mom came over and was more excited than I was...I don't think I really believed that it was the real thing. So she started to time them. They got closer and more painful. I went to the doctor's office at 3 for my scheduled appointment and the doctor sent me to the hospital.

Once there, I changed into the hospital gown and was trying to tie it up securely (so I didn't reveal too much!) and arrange the size XXXL maternity gown to look nice (which was totally pointless considering that everyone looks like crap after having a baby!!). The doctor came in and broke my water at 5. What an experience!! No one ever tells you how disgusting everything is when you're in labor. I was given some 'pads' to wear after my water was broke (which were actually XXXL diapers). What did I need all of those for? never stops producing!

Jordan arrived shortly after they broke my water. He cancelled our plans that we had made with friends for the night. By this time, everyone knew that I was in labor. So much for trying to be secretive!! My cousin, Sara, was interning at the hospital at that time, so she stopped by and we walked the hospital halls, to help with the intensifying contractions. Later, Katie and Matt (my sis and bro-in-law) stopped by while on a 'date night' to keep us company. Jordan was happy to let my visitors take over walking the halls with me. They tell me I quite the speed-walker. I also happened to run into my friend, Michelle, who works for AMR and was transferring a patient. It was actually a lot of fun at this point!

My goal had been to have a natural birth without drugs. But the pain was exhausting. Around 1 a.m, I was 7 cm and the nurse had been asking me all along if I wanted to change my mind about the epidural. She said it was my last chance, so through my tears of pain, I agreed. I was very tense when the anestesiologist put that needle in my back. He was really nice and tried to keep my mind off of it. If I get an epidural with this baby, I hope he's the one to give it to me. I never saw the size of the needle and I don't ever want to know exactly how big it is until I'm done having kids. Enough of that though, because I am getting nauseated.

From that point on, everything went so good. I could still feel pressure but no pain. I got to rest and Jordan got to sleep. The nurse told me to buzz her when I felt like I was at a 10. About an hour later, I felt like I had to push, so I woke Jordan to get the remote with the buzzer on it. So he starts pulling at this cord, thinking it's the remote but it was the tube for my cathider!! Lucky for him I couldn't feel anything! I ended up pushing for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I think Jordan was just as exhausted as I was!! He was an awesome coach!

Finally, after about 18 hours of being in labor, our baby girl was finally here and all the pain was so worth it. She was what made it the happiest moment of my life! After adoring her and feeding her, we all just fell asleep. Four hours later, when we woke up, we decided on her name and started calling all the anxiously awaiting family and friends. We had many visitors that weekend and it was so special to share with them our new little miracle. I'm so excited to relive the feeling that my heart is going to burst with love for this child that we've created.

Hopefully soon....

Our first family photo...

...and me bawling my head off!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Almost time....

In a few days, our family of 3 will become 4. I am so excited!! I just want her to be here! But at the same time, I'm going to miss her being inside me. I feel like I have taken this pregnancy so for granted.... I was sick now and then but I have been so blessed with how smoothly everything has gone. I have just been wanting it to be over so I can meet her, but she's so safe and healthy inside of me. And what does the future hold for her?

One of my favorite passages of the Bible is Psalm 139:13-16: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Lately I am feeling a little overwhelmed at what it means to be a mommy. Maybe it's just taking a slightly different toll on me now that I'm nearing the transition from one child to two. It's the most important job I will ever have to do and I want to do the best I can. It's been so exciting to see Natalie grow and learn. And to think that God knows exactly who our children are even before they're conceived.... He has had all of their days numbered (and ours, too!) since the beginning of creation. We are so in love with Natalie. I never knew that I could love her so much; it's incredible to think that we'll love the next baby just as much. I am so thankful that He has chosen us to be parents to Natalie and our little unborn child. I want to do everything I can to honor Him for the gifts He's given us. Hopefully, my next post will include pictures of the newest addition to our family!!!