I wrote this because sometimes it's easier for me to pray when I can type/write it out and stay focused. Many times they just go unpublished but I decided I would share this one even though I feel a little vulnerable doing so! But I encourage anyone reading this to also write a prayer of thanks and to make it a habit! God is at work :)
I just praise you, Lord. Sometimes I feel like all I do is ask you for stuff. But right now I just want to praise you - something that I'm constantly feeling challenged to do. It's more natural for me to list what I'm anxious about and to ask for your intervention instead of thanking you for the ways that you have already intervened! I've been listening to podcasts about the book of Esther and I remember a study I did on her. She says at one point, 'If I perish, I perish.' I remember Beth Moore challenging us to view our lives like that and our circumstances. 'If {fill in the blank with your biggest concern}, then GOD'. I was also challenged by Mark Driscoll to think about what/who my idols are. What/who gets my attention? What are my most of my emotions linked to. What/who do I worry about? Idols are usually good things turned into God things. I think about my family... I try to keep it in check that I don't idolize them but I think they're my biggest potential idols. But if they perish... then God will still be there. No one can take you away from me or me away from you! I praise you Lord for my amazing husband. That you brought us together. That we've persevered through rough times. That the husband you chose for me is nothing like my earthly father that so many women use as an example when choosing a mate. You have had a hand of protection over me and it is so evident to me now!! I praise you that Jordan is devoted to us, that he truly loves us, that I can trust him, and I pray that his and my tust in you and devotion to you always grows. I praise you for the health of each of our family members... that we haven't spent any time in the hospital feeling despair and hopelessness. I praise you for our safety knowing that at any given time, something could happen to one of us. I praise you for your beautiful creation! The snow you've sent is gorgeous! How can people not believe in you. I praise you for our extended family. Thank you for the love and connectedness. Thank you for soldiers willing to risk their lives to protect our freedom. Thank you for the country we live in. That we feel safe and can freely worship. Please bless this country and may your people come to you for wisdom and guidance. Thank you for your protection of my family when it comes to dad. Thank you for being my heavenly father who loves me unconditionally and is sovereign. Thank you for carrying mom through her marriage and divorce. Thank you for our grandparents both alive and deceased. I praise you for the hope of eternal life and I yearn to meet my grandparents in heaven someday. I cannot wait! I cannot wait to hear what they have been up to, to see them and hug them, to tell them all the wonderful things you've been doing in my life. I can almost imagine the looks on their faces when we meet again although I know that I can't even begin to imagine the radiance and beauty. Thank you for Jordan's grandparents! I have been blessed to have known them. And to have grandparents once again is such a blessing! Thank you for giving them long and happy lives and please continue to give them that life! Thank you for sending your SON to die for us. I think of my son.... could I have trusted you if you had tested me like you did with Abraham and Isaac? Could I have ever sacrificed my son for dirty, rotten humans that would still reject him and didn't deserve him in the first place? I cannot fathom your love for me. So often I feel dirty, unworthy, I am a terrible person and I DO NOT deserve you! Yet, you came for ME! Thank you Jesus. I will never be able to fully comprehend your love and sacrifice. So I just praise you for it. I want to be more bold for you, Jesus. Why aren't I more bold? I want to pray to you continually, to be joyful, to not worry but trust in you. I pray that I become a godly woman who looks after your interests. Thank you that I am your child and that that is my true and forever identity. Thank you for being so close to me! Even when I don't make time for you or seek your presence, still you show up! Thank you, Jesus for not giving up on me!
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