5 years later....

So it's coming up on the 5th anniversary (June 30, 2004) of my grandma (my mom's mom) dying.... and I still miss her like crazy. In some ways, I cannot believe that I haven't seen her for that long but sometimes it seems like it's been even longer. I want so bad to talk to her again. If there is one word that would describe my Grandma Morren it's 'Generous'. Whether with her time or money or anything, she would do anything for you. Being a travel agent, she took us on so many trips that I took for granted at the time.... not just because it was a free trip but because it was with her. How many people go on vacations with their grandparents? My grandma used to own where Townline Estates is currently located and when she sold the property, she took all of her kids and grandkids on a cruise. And not just any cruise. At the time, it was the grandest ship on the ocean and the biggest as well. It was the Royal Carribbean: Voyager of the Seas. We had awesome rooms and everything we wanted to do that week was paid for by her. It was our inheritance, she would say, and she wanted to see us enjoy it. And we soo did!

This was my 'cool' grandma that would go shopping with us to how ever many malls we could fit in in one day and sometimes overnight. She was the grandma that took us out to dinner, breakfast, and lunch when we'd sleep over and sometimes a movie as well. When we were real little, we'd refer to her as the "Russ' grandma" because that was our favorite restaurant that she'd take us to! When we turned 16, she would have us pick her up for dinner (though she'd pay) and then we'd go to her favorite gas station (the Marathon in Zeeland where they pump it for you - or used to anyway) and she'd fill up our tanks. She loved to serve us and have a good time.

You could really get that lady laughing too! For Christmas, she would invest so much time and money and creativeness into our gifts. She'd make a spiked punch and pick out games to play. One year it was a chair game where everyone ended up on each other's laps, another year it was having to drop a quarter into a jar using your butt cheeks!! Really - is that normal for a grandma?!

Growing up, I was always closer to my other grandma because she was just up the road but while in high school, I grew so close to Grandma Morren. I'd go to her house in between school and work and we'd just talk. One time, I went to the bathroom on the way out the door and I clogged the toilet! And you know what? Grandma unclogged it for me because I was running so late!! I'm telling you, she was generous! My grandpa died 12 years before her in June as well, and she happened to have his obituary laying out. We got to talking....and then we got to crying. I had never cried with her before and I'll never forget it. She was not the kind to get mushy and emotional. And only 2 weeks later, she died of a heart attack. The last time we talked, I was rushing out the door only a couple days prior to that and she said, "when will I see you again?" and I replied, "who knows". She was 73.

If I could only see her one more time. Grandma, do you know that I did get married to Jordan just like we always knew I would? Do you know that I have 2 beautiful girls? Did you hold them in heaven before God sent them my way? Do you know that I think of you everytime I do leg exercises (inside joke)? And everytime I eat at Russ'? And everytime I see a Chinese Checkers board? And everytime I eat bologna? Did I ever tell you how much you meant to me, how much I love you? And yet, all these feelings are so selfish because I know she's happier beyond imagination in Heaven with Jesus and Grandpa.

A few weeks before she died, I graduated and when we were done with the ceremony, she was walking up to me as fast as her little legs could carry her and she gave me a big hug. She looked like she was so proud of me. And that's how I imagine she'll greet me in Heaven someday. Grandma, I cannot wait to see you again....